We just recently got our two female cats spayed, so for the next two weeks we’re confined to our tiny studio apartment to make sure they heal okay. With that said, video games and Netflix have become our best friends while we make sure they don’t keep licking their wound or get any sort of infection. So rather than Bad Movie Night consisting of just one film, we’ve had plenty of time to watch loads and loads of low budget cinema and I couldn’t help but rant and rave about a few of the gems we’ve come across.
Thanksgiving break for five college students turns deadly when a dog takes a leak on a cursed totem pole that happens to mark the burial ground of a turkey demon created by Native Americans to curse the white man for taking their land. Turkey isn’t supposed to wreak havoc but every 505 years, but Thanksgiving comes early and no one is safe from his delicious wrath and crass humor. There was never a dull moment in this 60 minute b-movie gorefest and it never took itself too seriously, which is part of its charm.
Sure, the plot is ridiculous, the acting purposefully sucks and there is a rubber turkey carving everyone to bits, but it’s a hilarious film with lots of memorable moments, like-to-hate-them characters and creative kill scenes. Before the credits roll you’ll see Turkey wear a man’s face as a mask, fornicate with a known slut and defecate on a rednecks chest, but not before becoming a radioactive version of himself and hinting at a possible sequel. Thankskilling is a must-see for any fan of films by Low Budget Pictures (Teenape Goes to Camp, Ski Wolf, Taintlight) or Troma. And what better way to celebrate Thanksgiving 2012 than with that sequel, Thankskilling 2, when it’s time for second helpings of death.. in space.
The verdict – B+
I was drawn in to the Gingerdead Man series based on their catchy names alone, with this film being titled Saturday Night Cleaver and the previous entry being Passion of the Crust. Honestly, I wish I would have stayed away entirely, but sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me. In what starts off as a Silence of the Lambs parody, Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver showed a lot of promise with its gory death scenes and crude humor. Unfortunately things took a turn for the boring once a time machine teleported the tiny baked killer back to 1976 in to the middle of a roller boogie queen pageant. In a plot that had so much room for potential and so many victims ready to die in hilarious ways, the film fell on its face after constantly focusing on the stupid roller boogie pageant over and over again. I don’t care about who wins the pageant, nor do I care about any of these ridiculously dressed disco douchebags.
Why are there at least 40 people in this film anyway? It’s obviously supposed to be a funny, low budget slasher flick with a pissed off gingerbread man killing people, but they tried so hard to keep the plot rolling that most of the time we forgot what we were even watching. How this is even possible when the entire premise of the film is to have a bunch of horribly dressed, unpaid actors die at the hand of a gingerbread man while rollerskating to the worst era of music in the history of mankind is beyond me. The only scene in the entire film that made me laugh was when he gets his little gingerbread wang ripped off when he puts it a glory hole in the women’s restroom, and even then it was kind of forced.
The verdict – F
An Irish couple’s daughter is given the best birthday ever when she’s mauled to death by a dog on her way to school. The grieving family moves to the small town of Wake Wood to put the past behind them and try to move on with their lives. When their car breaks down in the middle of the night and they approach a neighbors house for help, the wife stumbles on a pagan ritual taking place in the back yard, which might be common in those parts, I don’t know. The family is approached by one of the pagans (played by Peter Pettigrew from the Harry Potter films) and they’re told that if their daughter has been dead for less than a year, they can bring her back for three days to give the family some closure, but there has to be a catch, right? Turns out the daughter can’t leave Wake Wood during the three days and the family can never move away as long as they’re alive. I guess Peter Pettigrew can use magic no matter the film!
The couple eventually gives in and takes part in the ritual but all hell breaks loose when the family dog ends up skinned and the townsfolk start dying off. Turns out the family lied about how long their daughter had been dead which backfired the ritual and turned the daughter in to a killing machine. In a unique shuffle of the plot, the father decides to end his daughters resurrection prematurely when she kills the now-pregnant mother, whom he later resurrects with the same ritual only to deliver a c-section and have at least one living family member to live out the rest of his life in Wake Wood with.
The film was definitely a slow burn but once it picked up the pace it never really slowed down. It’s definitely one of the better horror films I’ve seen but the production was a little off with the mixing of the background noise and the actual dialogue. The Irish accents were easy enough to decipher but what made it difficult was the constant loud noises and shrill music over the library voices of the entire cast. Still, Wake Wood was an impressive horror film with an original plot and solid acting.
The verdict – B+
Got any recommendations for low budget horror on Netflix? Shoot them my way! My instant queue is already packed with tons of them and we own hundreds on DVD, so chances are we can watch it and review it here at Cheap Boss Attack.