A winner is YOU! Well, it’s actually me. Sorry.

I’m more of a King Slender person, myself, but Star Man is better than Giant Panther.

Cross-Up, my fellow blogger with a better haircut, tossed me a “Liebster” award because I have the best abs on the internet. My words, not his. But being a genuinely unlucky person who rarely wins anything, I’m holding this in high regard just so I can go in to a long-winded speech and wear a shiny dress. Er, suit. Yeah, that one. Maybe I’ll just pull a Raiden and run around naked with pixels covering my bum, I have yet to decide. OH! Or maybe I can eat people and poop them out as eggs like Yoshi!

He doesn’t care if that egg shot from his rectum, his balancing act gets him laid on the regular. Yoshi’s pussy train is never going to derail.

What were we discussing again? Oh right, that lobster award thing. It’s a blogging award passed down from blogger to blogger, kind of like re-gifting that toaster you got last year for Christmas. He gives me the award and I have to pawn it off on someone that I enjoy reading as well. It’s an honor, really, that anyone would find my blog entertaining, so I don’t want to seem like I’m unappreciative. Voltech is a pretty amazing blogger and I always enjoy reading their posts on Cross-Up, so when they mentioned my blog on theirs I giggled like a school boy.

So before I get in to the tofu and potatoes of the Liebster, here are the rules!

  • Write 11 things about yourself.
  • Answer the 11 questions left by the person who nominated you.
  • Write 11 new questions and nominate 11 other bloggers.
  • No tag-backs to the person who just nominated you.
  • Go tell them!

So, here we go.. 11 random things about myself.

1 – I’m a Hibikitarian.

When it comes to Street Fighter, there is Dan Hibiki and then there is everyone else. I started playing Dan in Street Fighter Alpha 2 as a joke to play against my friends because I grew tired of wrecking them match after match as Ken. It eventually got to a point where I didn’t want to play anyone BUT Dan because it was much more entertaining beating a complete stranger as the Pepto Clepto. I don’t actually know why I call him that since he’s not really a thief of any sorts. He’s the teacher of Saiko Style and the only person with a better haircut is Voltech over at Cross-Up.

2 – Apparently, I’m a big sissy.

I have a soft spot for girly JRPGs like the Atelier series, Hyperdimension Neptunia, Ar Tonelico and Mana Khemia. I’m also vegan, straight edge (no alcohol/drugs) and have a dire phobia of bees. See, when I was 5, there was a giant bees nest on our shed that I decided to whack a few times with a rake. Once the bees exited their domicile, they attacked me in bulk as I ran to the back door.. the locked back door. By the time I had made it in to my house, I had been stung between 30-40 times and never wanted to see a bee again. Even now, as I see a bee, I flail my arms around like I’m slam dancing and make squeals like a school girl.

3 – I’m a Nintendo fanboy.

The name Nintendo brings happiness to children all over the world, but I don’t really care about the children. I have two Zelda related tattoos, one of which is combined with a Metroid reference. I’d still rather play an NES over any current-gen console and fully support anything Nintendo puts out on the table. No one will ever make better first-party titles or creepier characters like Tingle or Toad.

4 – I have two cats that are mother and daughter, yet hate each other with every fiber of their being.

The mother cat, Zuul (like Ghostbusters), gave birth to a litter of kittens years ago and Periwinkle is the one that I kept. Being birthed from her womb would lead you to believe that she would love her unconditionally, which is true if by that you mean “wants to murder her while she sleeps and/or uses the litter box”. I used to have a black manx (the tail-less breed), but he died around Thanksgiving of 2009.

5 – Someday, I would like to be a professional writer.

It’s no secret that I love to write. I’ve been blogging for the better half of 7 years and writing online since the inception of Live Journal in 1998. I’m not the greatest writer in the world, as I obviously still write for fun as a freelance blogger, but I’d like to start working on a series of zombie survival horror novels. Ideally, I’d like to become a video game journalist.

6 – Sports are quite boring for the most part, but I obsess over baseball and hockey.

Being from Baltimore, I’ve been an Orioles fan since I could watch them lose on TV. In my lifetime, they’ve had maybe two good seasons but I’ve never band-wagoned away from the dirty birds. They’re actually doing really well this year, so if they do manage to even make it to the playoffs, I’ll be happy. I’m not the biggest football fan, but I like the Ravens and despise the Steelers. When it comes to hockey, I’m an Anaheim and Washington fan that detests the Sharks and Red Wings. Oh, and screw the Yankees.

7 – I love bad games.

Looking over my collection right now, I see copies of BOTH versions of Vampire Rain, the oddly titled Bomberman Act: Zero, Haze, Damnation, Onechanbara, Last Rebellion and X-blades.. and that doesn’t even scratch the surface. The more panned the game is, the more I want to play it for some reason. Sure, I love the good stuff too, but in the same sense that I obsess over campy B-movies and 80’s horror films, I enjoy a game that is so bad that it’s good. As a kid, I obsessed over Friday the 13th for the NES and played Clayfighter more than any other fighting game on the SNES. Even now, my favorite developer is SUDA 51’s Grasshopper Manufacture and I’ll continue to buy everything they put out because it’s different and appealing.

8 – I live in a haunted house.

The previous owner died, ass naked, in his closet. His wife sold the house when she was unable to make the payments, but he never really left. When I moved to South Carolina to take care of my dad, I took the room he died in and experienced all sorts of odd happenings; the bed would sink behind me like someone was sitting on it, the closet door would open (where he died, of course), shadows dart through the hallway, the bedroom door locks from the outside somehow and my cats will freak out at nothing. My parents have even said they’ve seen some really weird stuff with my dad claiming a coffee filter he was filling flew across the kitchen and random cabinets will open and close on their own. I love the paranormal, so living here with so much activity is really cool to me.

9 – I’m a bookworm.

My girlfriend and I are both avid readers and our collection probably spans close to 300 books, not counting the virtual copies on her Kindle Fire. I tend to stick with fiction and my favorites are Stephen King’s Dark Tower series and anything written by Cherie Priest; she writes a steampunk series that starts with the book Boneshaker. I also really like Clive Barker, Peter Straub, “young adult” fantasy novels like Harry Potter, the Inheritance series by Paolini and Fablehaven. Right now I’m reading Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick – the book that Blade Runner was based on – and Dharma Punx, a biography of a punker turned Buddhist named Noah Levine.

10 – At 31 years old, I still play Pokemon.

I’ve played every series of Pokemon outside of Black and White and always go for the grass pokemon as a starter, ever since Red/Blue. Psyduck is my favorite Pokemon of all time because they remind me of my mom who is disabled with debilitating migraines. I also obsessed over Heartgold because of the Pokewalker since I could walk and earn exclusive Pokemon and items outside of the house. Here I am, a 31 year old male, walking around the office at work all dressed up for meetings with a Pokewalker attached to my belt. It’s no wonder I never got promoted.

11 – I suffer from diverticulitis and have almost died twice because of it.

I guess I’ll get serious for a minute and go in to my recent health scare. In August of 2011, I woke up one morning and felt really sick. It eventually escalated in to a fever and I was admitted in to the emergency room, staying at the hospital for 3 days. It turned out that I had developed a “fistula” between my bladder and colon, causing some of the gas and waste that would normally pass through my colon to pass through my man parts. I know, I know, it’s gross. Anyway, this caused a few infections, almost killing me in the process with a 106 degree fever and being on the verge of going septic (where the infection gets in to your blood, therefore going in to your entire body and eventually pumping through your heart and killing you). It turns out that diverticulitis – my intestine can form blisters which catch food particles, become infected, and then need to be surgically removed – runs in my family on my dad’s side (he also suffers from it). I had surgery to remove the infected area but during the recovery process I had a blood clot start to move toward my lungs, which would have killed me, but thankfully they caught it and it dissipated before it got that far. Almost dying twice scared the crap out of me, but thankfully it’s been almost a year since the surgery and I’ve been doing well. This was the main reason for me choosing to go vegan and start focusing on my health, especially since my dad is in such bad shape. Sorry if this was too much info for you, but I figured I might as well go in to something about myself that was a little more in-depth aside from just saying “I like video games.”

So there you have it.. 11 boring facts! Let’s get in to the questions left by Voltech @ Cross-Up.

1) Surprise!  You’re a superhero.  What’s your superpower?
I want to shapeshift like the Wonder Twins. I want to be able to morph my hand in to a soda if I’m thirsty or change in to a cat if I want to poop in the litter box instead of walking out to the bathroom. That’s pretty lazy, but I’m a superhero, I’ll do what I want.
2) As a corollary to the above, are you a hero or a villain?
I’d be like Punisher or Deadpool and play the field. I’m good at heart, but the way I might go about doing some things probably wouldn’t sit well with Captain America.
3) As a corollary to the corollary, what’s your catch phrase?  Some variant of “It’s clobberin’ time,” perhaps?
MUTHA FUCK YOU, SLENDA BITCH! is what I’ve been yelling ever since I downloaded Slender for PC. If that goes against the comic book code, “There go the God damn brownies!” sounds good. I love The Burbs with Tom Hanks.
4) Have you ever been in a fight?
I used to cagefight professionally back in the underground Taiwan circut. I later woke up to a cat licking my foot. Dreams are neat.
5) Have you ever had (or still have — not that anyone’s judging) an imaginary friend?
Sometimes I pretend to have friends?
6) You hear that there’s an ancient treasure, and you narrow down the location to two places: a deep jungle, or a mountain summit. You only have the resources for one expedition.  Where do you go?
I’d definitely prefer the mountain summit over a jungle. Extreme hiking sounds a lot better than getting my legs wrapped up in the cold womb of a constrictor or getting bitten on the rectum by venomous spiders.
7) And now you’re in an RPG!  You have a choice of being a fighter, a mage, or a thief.  What do you choose, and why?
I would take the easy route and level up as a Fighter, but once I hit max level I’d re-roll as a Mage and rain pain on the plains of Spain. Not that I’d physically attack Spain or anything.
8) You can have your dream machine — a new computer, a rocket car, jetpack, personalized mech, etc. — delivered to you by tomorrow morning.  What do you want?
A top-loading NES and a fresh copy of The Legend of Zelda with a working battery.
9) You have the power to resurrect any canceled/finished TV show, with the original cast and writing that’s better than ever.  What do you revive?
Firefly or Arrested Development. If I had to choose just one (sorry Joss) I’d pick Arrested Development though. David Cross as Tobias Funke is far more entertaining.

“I just blue myself!”

10) You’ve been struck by lightning!  Oh nutbunnies!  What are (presumably) your last words?
Can I dodge it 100 times and earn a new weapon like in Final Fantasy X? If not, “Oh nutbunnies!” should be just fine.
11) And just to close out on a curveball, what’s your dream?
To someday work in the gaming industry as either a journalist or coffee fetching office monkey. Whatever gets my foot in the door. Are you reading this (insert professional gaming publication here)?! Hire me!
Here is the part where I’m supposed to tag 11 other bloggers, but.. I haven’t been around long enough to actually KNOW 11 bloggers. Sure, I read a bunch of them, but I don’t always comment and a majority of the interwebs doesn’t even know that I exist. Have you seen my traffic report? I’m not even a blip on the radar!
So unfortunately, I have no one to give this award to. I thank Voltech @ Cross-Up for even considering my little slice on the blogosphere for a Liebster and apologize to them for not being able to carry the torch and pass it along like an STD.
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