Been a while, yeah? As it turns out, my mental health wasn’t as strong as I thought it was, and I just needed some time away from… well, everything. Anhedonia struck me pretty good so blogging and gaming just didn’t seem fun anymore, and when you’re already in a rut with writer’s block and imposter syndrome, it’s difficult to dig yourself out. At least, it was for me.
During my time away I thought a lot about Cheap Boss Attack and what I wanted it to be when I registered the domain on WordPress back in 2011. It was just a simple gaming blog where I wanted to discuss whatever I was playing with similar, like-minded people. It wasn’t a “website” or a place I leaned on in order to obtain review keys for games I couldn’t otherwise afford. I missed that.
I have a habit of biting off more than I can chew when it comes to my hobbies. My gaming backlog is horrendous, yet I juggle too many titles at once and still find myself buying new ones whenever the price is right. In World of Warcraft, I have every single class leveled to max and all of the professions covered “just in case.” Whenever I want to borrow a book from the library, I come home with five. A DVD rental at Red Box turns in to three.
What basically happened with Cheap Boss Attack is that, rather than ever saying “no,” I kept saying “sure, one more review couldn’t hurt.”
It got to the point where everything became overwhelming. A 70+ hour JRPG here, a 40-hour visual novel there… they add up quick. And before I knew it, I was in too deep — already struggling with depression and anxiety, my hobby had become a job and I had no additional free time to give it.
Rather than chip away, I gave up. I needed to step away and really think about whether or not I even WANTED to keep writing. I told myself I wasn’t enjoying it as much, but I think the truth is that I just needed a break. From blogging, from gaming, from everything.
So, here I am now. COVID has set the world on fire, everything outside is a mess, but my brain feels a bit healthier and I’m enjoying gaming again. Now to find out if I still enjoy writing.