“Kept you waiting, huh?”

Been a while, yeah? As it turns out, my mental health wasn’t as strong as I thought it was, and I just needed some time away from… well, everything. Anhedonia struck me pretty good so blogging and gaming just didn’t seem fun anymore, and when you’re already in a rut with writer’s block and imposter syndrome, it’s difficult to dig yourself out. At least, it was for me.

During my time away I thought a lot about Cheap Boss Attack and what I wanted it to be when I registered the domain on WordPress back in 2011. It was just a simple gaming blog where I wanted to discuss whatever I was playing with similar, like-minded people. It wasn’t a “website” or a place I leaned on in order to obtain review keys for games I couldn’t otherwise afford. I missed that.

I have a habit of biting off more than I can chew when it comes to my hobbies. My gaming backlog is horrendous, yet I juggle too many titles at once and still find myself buying new ones whenever the price is right. In World of Warcraft, I have every single class leveled to max and all of the professions covered “just in case.” Whenever I want to borrow a book from the library, I come home with five. A DVD rental at Red Box turns in to three.

What basically happened with Cheap Boss Attack is that, rather than ever saying “no,” I kept saying “sure, one more review couldn’t hurt.”

It got to the point where everything became overwhelming. A 70+ hour JRPG here, a 40-hour visual novel there… they add up quick. And before I knew it, I was in too deep — already struggling with depression and anxiety, my hobby had become a job and I had no additional free time to give it.

Rather than chip away, I gave up. I needed to step away and really think about whether or not I even WANTED to keep writing. I told myself I wasn’t enjoying it as much, but I think the truth is that I just needed a break. From blogging, from gaming, from everything.

So, here I am now. COVID has set the world on fire, everything outside is a mess, but my brain feels a bit healthier and I’m enjoying gaming again. Now to find out if I still enjoy writing.

5 thoughts on ““Kept you waiting, huh?”

  1. *nods in anxiety and depression* Yeaaaah, I’m currently replaying World of Final Fantasy and delving into an Etrian Odyssey dungeon crawler because I just want something familiar right now. I STILL need to do the Chapter Select of FFVII Remake, but I can’t bring myself to play or even finish watching the LP for…reasons, so I’m just spending my time doing comfort stuff. I HATE when hobbies turn into obligations. It’s like why do I do this to myself? And no matter how much I say “yeah I’m doing this for fun,” it always winds up being “MUST DO THING.” I think it’s just the way some brains are wired. The world is a dumpster fire. Do what makes you happy right now. If blogging isn’t it, screw it. Your tweet are always amusing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you understand, haha. It’s weird how something begins as a mere extension of our hobby and then turns into an irrational “obligation” to nobody but ourselves. Our readers don’t care if we don’t post every week.

      Man, back to WOFF? You sank like 100+ hours into it the first time, yeah? I picked up the Maxima version on Xbox but haven’t started it yet. Story of my life, I guess.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s. The. Worst. And you’re absolutely right. I’m never like “Damn, that asshole hasn’t posted in forever. I WANT MY MONEY BACK.” It’s usually more like, “Shit, I hope they’re doing okay. It’s 2020, anything could’ve happened. They might’ve been abducted by aliens and now I’m jealous.”

        I’m playing Maxima! That’s the whole reason I decided to replay hehe. So now I gotta catch ’em all again. Now that I have the new computer though, I want to see about starting to stream.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. WoFF already had loads of content so I’m not even sure what Maxima added. Just that it was more and that’s the version I wanted lol.

          And yes! If I notice someone hasn’t written in a while I usually just hope they’re doing okay.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Right? I think they added more Mirages to capture. Instead of 200, there are now 250? I’ve noticed some of the new ones like now Moomba is one of them. You can also carry 12 Mirages instead of 10. There are more champion medals AND you can equip stuff to change your characters into the champions during battle. I’m a little annoyed that they have to match genders, so you can only have Lann equip dudes and Reynn the ladies, which annoys me, but it’s still pretty cool. It allows you to technically have five champions instead of the customary three. Oh, and they made the minigames less difficult/annoying. I wish they’d just done a DLC with the original, but Squeenix knows people will pay full price for their shit…and I did.

            Liked by 1 person

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